As a Protestant we often do not realize the value of confession. In fact, we might even be glad that we are not Catholics, so that we don’t have to confess regularly. We are told that we do confess, but that it is something between ourselves and God. The problem with that is that when we are left up to ourselves to confess to God we often don’t end up doing it.
I do believe that confession to a pastor may not be the best solution. It is something between you and God, but if you are living as Christ did in a community that you truly trust, then it is my hope that we develop accountability partners.
An accountability partner would be a person that we could confess anything to. They would love us and forgive us no matter what the sin. They would also promise to be there to help us to grow. They would help us to offer penance.
This would not be able to be any ordinary person. This would be a partner like no other. I think that this is often why people do not like to confess to a priest. That level of relationship with a priest would be there in a perfect world, but it is not. Sometimes people like to confess to a priest because there is anonymity there, but we are not truly confessing if it is that easy. Confession should be a painful thing if it is true. You have done something wrong. It is the pain of healing, like the way a scab itches as it heals.
Only when we are close enough with them to share any sin (imagine murder or child molestation) can we truly become broken before God and allow healing.